In-transit.
With just a few days left, 2008 will be over. And in comes 2009.
All this old-year-out-new-year-in stuff is all too familiar, but i knew i had to write this entry somehow.
Was just in my usual bouts of procrastination.
So how has 2008 treated you?
For me, it sums up to be a year of........ great losses.
Yes tragic as it may sound, that's how I felt 2008 had been.
As 2008 began in January, I embarked on my ever first REAL job.
And guess what was the loss? It has got to be freedom. Taking on a real job was a huge transition from being a full-time student. With studies, you can do whatever you want. You can come to school as and when you like, late or early. You just have to make sure that you try to ace those exams and score a decent CAP good enough for graduation or for a good enough class of honours. People from all walks of life will aid you in your pursuits, and yes, you still get allowance. Though I won't assume this applies to all.
Work on the other hand, is plain evil. There's no room for excuses, apologies or mistakes. You are expected to function like a full-grown adult capable of executing all kinds of duties in the world but yet you will be fully governed like a 3-year old who needs keeping an eye on. Call it ironic, but I do think the idea of work has disillusioned me. And that calls for a remedy of realism, which is why I loved my first job, just that i dislike the idea of work because it makes me feel like a small nut/bolt/screw that exists just to help the big machine (ie: the economy) functions.
Fast forward to mid-year, my dear BIBU left me for 3 months to work in the US.
3 months may not be an extremely long period, but it wasn't exactly short either. The initial periods were tough and I was often left with lots of spare time and wondering what to do. But thanks to support from those around me, i managed to survive the loneliness.
But to be honest, I think I've actually gained much from BIBU's absenteeism.
And that's gonna be what I will talk bout next. That great losses sometimes bring great gains too.
Ok so back to my 3 months of loneliness.
Well I think I have gained much in terms of learning, personal discovery and perhaps some enrichment too.
Call it strange, but while BIBU was gone, I've learnt to plan my finances really well. Perhaps it has something to do with me saving up lots in preparation for my NY trip to meet Bibu. Or perhaps it was due to less dating/going out. But i really did SAVE a lot during that 3 months. And because BIBU's not there to nag at me physically, I actually did take the initiative to plan my finances, which is good and it made me proud of myself too :)
Being physically away from someone you love for a period of time is nevertheless a form of self-discovery as well. Despite being initially against the idea of putting a proper relationship to the test, being physically away from each other has actually taught me the meaning of sacrifices and compromises.
The 12-hour time difference meant we could only talk to each other during odd hours and frequent technical difficulties with MSN/Skype/etc etc only added to our frustrations. Sometimes it will be days before we get to converse. And of course there were the periods of distrust, negative thoughts, intense missing and all.
But eventually I guess all these serve as a crystal clear gauge of how much you can give and take despite being half the world away from each other.
Moving on to the later part of the year, about a week or so after getting back from NYC, Kongkong fell ill badly and had to be hospitalised.
Another loss was taking place and sometime in late August, Kongkong left us.
It was intense, especially so for my mom.
For us, it was hard to cope too. It was the first time we lost someone so dear.
But somehow, we all knew Kongkong went off to a better place.
Sometimes we imagine that he has gone travelling, round the world perhaps. But then it sinks in hard whenever we wish to see him but know we no longer can.
I think the entire event has brought the family closer though. And to me, that's the greatest gain.
Of course there are lots more stuff that happened in 2008, but I shan't list them all. That doesn't mean its insignificant though. I think all 'happenings' big and small truly shape up who you are. Some things make you, some may break you, but every piece counts.
Cliched? Most probably.
Let's toast to it.
And wait and see lo!
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